#i need to stop deleting things

[sooz-again]

Looking at some of my old, abandoned works, and wishing I had notes on how I'd intended to finish them.

[lesbianherald]

I’m going to phrase this delicately because I’m so deeply grateful and awed by the support I’ve received.

But I will say it is a little anxiety inducing how many people feel they can talk about coming home whatever way they want openly and publicly because it has “numbers” or whatever (referring to my own work like this makes me want to claw my eyes out because they baffle me and I don’t necessarily feel I deserve them but it’s important for context).

This is Especially true for the way people speak under things I very much see. Art of the fic. My Twitter mutuals posts. Things I will very obviously interact with. It feels like someone is walking into my back yard and talking shit as if I'm literally not standing in said yard like this 🧍

You make something for a community for free as an act of passion and then the community in turn becomes something that isn’t quite accessible to you anymore. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of fic writers in my previous fandoms and idk man it’s just kind of a bummer.

Like. Fanfic and fanart is made by people in the fandom for the fandom. It’s not work being produced by some distant people in Hollywood who shouldn’t be in the fandom space in the first place.

Idk, it’s actually pretty rare that this happens to me but I wanted to mention I am a human who can very much read the things you say guys 😭 like if you reblog art related to my work and call it a bunch of petty names and say you had to dnf I can see that. It’s totally ok to feel whatever way you want. But maybe don't feel that way in my back yard.

Again. I’m so grateful for everything I really am. You absolutely do not have to fuck with my work. Fuck I don't fuck with my work sometimes DKLFJSDHF. This is probably the last time I’ll talk about this because the last thing I want to do is come off like I can’t take criticism and I’m ungrateful. But sometimes I really am chewing at my enclosure like IM RIGHT HERE MAN IM LITERALLY BEHIND YOU HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT.

[celtrist]

I just vented out a whole rant about how aromantisim is treated within Hazbin/helluva. I'm not really sure if I should post it for multiple reasons, one of which being I don't want anyone to feel targeted about it or take it the wrong way (like I honestly dont have beef with Al shippers. Gripes, but no beef as I also ship him on occasion).

There was just a sudden burst of frustration I had with it that I think was in part just came from built up frustration from other things. There's things I'd like to have out there, but I don't really think it'd get far or, again, be just taken the wrong way. I don't see a point in posting if people are gonna ignore it, plus it wouldn't change how things are now. If anyone has any thoughts or are curious let me know, but I don't wanna make anyone feel like shit or put a pointless rant out there no one wanted to see. I also wanna keep rants to a minimum as I know people aren't always into that sort of stuff, especially if you don't follow someone for that and you just get an influx of posts of them complaining. And I still want to keep things relatively light hearted around here, at best maybe just some critiques on things here and there.

It's late, I'm on my phone when I should probably just sleep it off, so sleep it off I will.

[skunkes]

that "i wish that being aware of a mindset being ridiculous would make it easier to snap out of it" post hitting hard every single day

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

(shut up shut up shut up shut up-)

(they’d give good hugs…)

[tytoalbatross]

god damn i do not post often but can i talk about intentionality for a second?? one second please

i'm gonna be talking about bg3 but this really applies to any fandom space. people will, surface-level, agree that a Black character is not getting enough content compared to their white counterparts because it's. obvious . take wyll, who is several hours behind on voiced lines compared to other origins despite being one of the original five (before they added karlach and whiteified her too but that's another post). it's hard to deny cold hard facts

but then instead of engaging in content that uplifts Black characters and creators, they'll go right back to pumping out more and more content of just their white faves. on its own, it's not actively harmful, but here's what the implication is, whether they acknowledge it or not: yes wyll has less in-game content, yes his writing didn't get the attention it deserved, therefore i don't like him as much. it only perpetuates wyll's lack of content by contributing to his sidelining in fandom spaces

what i would love for fans who claim to be allies to do is to step out of the comfort zone of their initial favorites (which can, in fact, be biased!) and start pursuing content centering Black characters with intentionality. like all things, anti-racism (actively pushing back against racism rather than simply "Not Being Racist") takes practice and effort. you can't really agree with us that wyll needs more content, then in the same breath say that it's because of that that he's not interesting to you . the point was right in front of you doing a jig and you still missed it

[skyward-floored]

The yearly struggle over a Christmas/birthday list ugh

[figofswords]

it’s crazy how no matter how much your art improves or how good of an artist you become you will still be frustrated and upset and fighting with it upwards of 75% of the time. we need to start warning people about this

[spacekatdet]

Already seen victim blaming on xitter 👍 Lets not do that and lets leave the hermits alone. Make up your own minds on if you should support Iskall. But I feel like if one of his VH team members leaving for differing morals, the hermits going back 6 plus years to remove him from thumbnails and titles, and removing him from the site and merch should be enough Doc even said they can't talk about it which could mean anything, including something legal. Mumbo said there were no minors invovled but doesn't mean others weren't since there ARE victims Just leave the hermits be, and let the victims decide if they want to come out. And stop victim blaming lmao

[nocek]

Do you want to hear a funny story?

So you know that I was drawing spiderverse comics lately. Because they are fun to do. And I think people like them. I mean the most popular one has like 4K notes? That's lot for me when I usually dwell in tiny fandoms made out of like 3 people and their dog. So it's nice, everybody is having fun and I'm grateful.

but

BUT

I just found out that somebody took few of that comics. Cut them up and run the text through ai reading voice and posted it as reels on fucking youtube.

And it's not even that I'm stumped why even turn 4 pictures into video. First time I see such a time wasting thing but ok. People do like different things.

And even lke some effort was done to erase text from speech bubbles so it appears as the ai spews it aloud but it's not even about it

I had pictures taken and posted somewhere else. Usually without credit. At least this time it was credited? I guess I should be grateful.

What fucking gets me is that those comics have several hundred thousand views and few hundred comments each.

Like fucking seriously.

I don't know what's the point

I don;t know what should I feel about this

I mean unless you can make money on youtube reels? Then I can at least be pissed about it. Nice clean feeling?

Because what gets me is that most of those comments are nice so I should be happy about it? I guess? But I feel like a pathetic peeping tom looking for appreciation that wasn't given to me actually eve if I did the thing

ugh

I'm just tired

this day was already shitty so i guess it's time to give up and take a nap

next comic will be delayed

[vacantgodling]

✨preferences should not be standards for writing advice✨

[pup-pee]

hi this is a post saying i will not b online((or try)) until i get my g.e.d.

i love u all if i uh, yk never return

hugs hugs many sweet dreams & good mornings!

[geospiral]

It's mine and Mizi's birthdays today, so I just doodled her and my Alien Stage OC Moran's faces onto some jellyfish. I don't think I've had a character that I've known about be my birthday twin before, so happy birthday, Mizi!!

[starleska]

hey guys, listen. it means the world that you like my stuff and are eager to see more of it, but i literally posted a wip just two weeks ago and have so many people asking when it's going to be done. the answer is: i don't know. this month has been tremendously difficult for me, and i'm really, really exhausted.

i've been posting art, vids, text posts, writing articles, etc. all for the sake of fandom while trying to keep on top of the huge amount of asks and messages that have come my way. i was supporting a loved one in the hospital, my laptop is broken, and i experienced a really horrifying situation earlier this month that left me sick, that i'm still recovering from. please do remember that i'm not a content factory, and neither are any other fandom artists you like. i know some of you are just reaching out because you are excited, but a lot of the time it's coming across as a demand, and it's making me just want to log off and not work on anything at all. this isn't my job - i'm just a person who gets excited about stuff and likes to write/draw/talk about it, that's all. i recognise some of this response is just burnout from a really terrible month, and i probably wouldn't be reacting this way if i was less at the end of my tether, but this is something i've always been vocal about. as a prolific fandom creator i've had my fair share of 'WHEN'S THE NEXT CHAPTER???' comments on fics, and 'OMG YOU SHOULD DRAW THIS!!!' replies on art that's just been posted. zero acknowledgement of artistic merit, of what they liked about what was made...just an insatiable hunger for more. i don't know if it's because i'm in so many fandoms, or because i make such a wide variety of fan content and make a lot of posts that seem to draw strangers in. but none of my fanworks come with a release date. i make them because they make me happy, and i release them when they're ready, and if i want to. i shouldn't be logging onto Tumblr and feeling dread looking at my askbox, messages and replies because i know there'll be more demand. for real guys...my stuff isn't that good? it's just silly self-indulgent nonsense and autistic overthinking. this is the place where i go to release the fixation energy, not to come to another workplace 😓 my apologies if this seems ridiculous or overblown. it's a feeling i've been sitting on for a few months now, and it's one i've had following strong/frequent/demanding interactions in larger fandoms before. i don't think there's a fix for this, because people are always going to be crossing boundaries and treating fanworks creators this way. but i think i need to stay firm and say that i don't owe anyone a schedule of the art i make for fun. thanks for reading 💖

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

The process is a bitch and I want to fight it

[iwonderwh0]

Whether algorithmically created (like tiktok, youtube, instagram, etc) or manufactured manually (like tumblr or 4chan), the inescapable nature of online echo chambers and their consequences terrifies and depresses me